So yea my last post was kinda in your face, whoo where did that come from type of thing. I find it easier to be myself through the internet one becuz i don't have to hear/see your first response. And two i'm way too insecure to say what i really feel/think to your faces. So I apologize if I was too blunt or whatever the case may be to you. Not my intentions. i'm just tryin to be me. Plus if i didn't at least write some of this stuff my head and emotions would explode. So for my sanity and your sake please just let me do me. If you need further clarification talk to me personally. We'll figure something i'm sure. Now on a lighter note...There is one, technically two, thing that i just love about me. And to some its probably wierd. But if you ever have the chance take a look at the tops of my hands. My vains make a heart shape on both. The Left hand is more defined than the right. I just think its cool. I like to think its an everyday reminder from God that I'm loved. I think He knew thats one area in my life that i was gonna struggle with the most. So He put these hearts on my hands to remind me that i'm loved and that its ok to love others. After having watched people come and go through the years and never really having many "real" friends I've learned to not trust people. I mean whats the point when i know it will all end the same. I've used, abused, walked on, pushed around, you name i've lived it. I'm no longer disappointed when when someone walks out of my life. I wait for it to happen. But recently i've realized that i actually have some awesome friends and an amazing family! Even though i struggle to let my guard down with some people, I'm finding more confidence in myself everyday. hopefully one day these hands won't just be a reminder to me but to someone special to me. I don't know I guess i'm starting to believe in fairytales again. Maybe Prince Charming really is out there. Who knows? Just something i've been thinking about. Anyways, next time, Deuces!!!
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