Melancholy kinda day!!!

So as most of you know me and the family have left our comfort zone and are embarking on a new journey full of strange yet exciting territory. I haven't really struggled with leaving friends behind and have been enjoying going to new churches. But today as I got on Facebook as usual something felt different. I had this sudden rush of sadness and felt the need to cry. And i don't think it had anything to do with postpartum depression(which i do still struggle with). It was the fact that I see these people I call my best friends yet I don't feel as though we are anymore. This is when i realized that our paths in life are finally going in different directions. But i don't understand how you move on. How can you let go of friendships that were so strong but have some what diminished into acquaintances? If we were honest with each other we would know that no matter what we love each other and if needed would be there for each other, but reality is we're not close. We haven't been for some time now. For me it started about two years ago which is probably why I've gone through so much. I was trying to find friendships and love and acceptance from people who weren't right for me. But at the time i would have settled for it because they made it seem real. It didn't feel fake until it was time to move on. Does that mean i'm saying my real friends were bad pretenders? NO, not at all. I believe they saw and knew what was happening. They could look into my eyes and tell I was going through a very dark time. But no one would say it to my face. I knew they knew but they just would say anything. Kinda makes you mad doesn't because it sounds like I'm upset up about it or something. But really at the time i would have lied to you and said everything was fine. Shoot I'll tell you that today! So bring all this up? Why talk about something that really has no worth, no point? It's just because i feel more alone now then ever. So I'm writing this to remind myself I'm not alone. Because i know those of you who read this will probably write me and tell me you love me. Or tell me how you feel the same way. This is just my way of removing the numbness! To remind myself I'm alive! Just giving myself a hug i guess...LOL!!! So thank to whoever reads this and if you think I'm stupid o well! Live my life then come talk to me! Until then peace, love and all that good stuff!