Future

So i was sitting about to fall asleep when all the sudden my nephew runs in the room and starts asking questions. I wouldn't admit this to my family becuz as far as they know i don't want kids. But i look at him and it stirs something in me. Its like i wish i had a child of my own. Yes it'd be hard at first and then harder later on and then just completely difficult beyond that. But its when one of my nieces or nephews runs up and hugs and kisses me on the cheek that i realize i would love to be a mom. I look at a child and say i made that happen. That's my blood. My child will know that i love them no matter what. I pray that my children won't make the same mistakes i made. I would never want anyone to. I just pray that they will know that their mother loved them enough to give them life, hope and love. I'll guide them as best i can. I pray i have a strong man in my life for my boys. A man that makes them feel safe and loved but fearless and strong. I want my girls to be able to talk to me about anything. But one thing my kids will know above all is that their parents love each so deeply and that they will stay a family no matter what. I'm not a friend until they start taking care of themselves in every which way. Listen to me talking like i got kids...lol!! I wish. Its just something that was on my mind. I can't really have kids with having a man first, huh? lol!! O well. I know it'll happen for me one day. And that one day is worth the wait!!